Wednesday, November 12, 2014

My growth #2: Fear of uncertainties

Have you ever come across the feeling of loving someone more and more until you're afraid of losing him? We always read quotes online or been told by our friends/parents for not loving someone in 100%, you will hurt yourself eventually. But everything just beyond control. It's hard to control our own emotion and feelings, even how deeply we love someone. How possible that you loving one in 40%, then loving yourself 60%? It never happen, you just went in too deeply without your acknowledge. It's like you want him so so badly.

I have a friend who has a long run relationship with her man for years and finally both of them came across to marriage. When everything was so perfectly done and prepared, the wedding day ended up where both of them didn't turn up. They fought and that's the end of the relationship. 

It makes me even worry and aghast.

Have you ever imagine how wrong is it when you used to love someone for years, used to have him around all the time and getting through all the ups downs in your life, but ended up with BOTH OF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET MARRY. To be specific, undergo some hard time, even break up. 
Someone you used to been with all the time, movie, shopping and dinner; 
someone who always walks beside you, hold your hand tight and making sure your safe; 
someone who always sleep beside you, cuddling you and stay awake for the whole night just to make sure that you are covered by blankets; 
someone who wants you to eat more and always feed you on cakes, because he knows desserts make you happy; 
someone who care about you when you are sick and sending you medicine even though he need to travel for miles;
someone who worry about you when you are driving and always asking you to drive slowly; 
someone who is your private driver and not letting anyone to drive you but him only, because he is jealous of it; 
someone who celebrates every special days with you, getting you a romantic dinner and sweet roses;
someone who used to text you every day after you wake up and before you sleep, just to let you know, he misses you.
For years. And you are indulge in such pampered world of love. 

Then, all in sudden things just don't work out.

It's just aweful when fears fall all over you. You want it more and become more greedy. The mixtures feelings of all and it's like keep spinning in your brains, keep on thinking and it's making you terrible. You can't imagine a life without him and ended up being all alone. He is like a family to you, your best friend, your lover. Someone you love so much and used to have for so so many years. You are scared, what if there's no future between us?

You starts to ask "Do you love me?" "Do you really love me?" "Do you wanna marry me?" "Will you dump me?" Here comes the suspicious and all.
It may be hormone changes and causing some mood sway. Or you never trust him enough? 
But still, there's a possibility where he is a cheater. 

You are afraid of all the uncertainties in the future. What if there will be no marriage bond or future between both of you even after an intimate relationship? What changes both of your relationship when both of you loving too much? Not the third party obviously. But trust within both and a will of striking the same goal or a family. 

Is it a usual habit? Or someone you really couldn't give up on? Or someone you really wanna spend you whole life with? Ask yourself. Is he the one?

We tend to blame on the third party who interrupts in a relationship. But have you ever wonder? If either of you having a strong will of not changing, the third party will never have a chance to intrude. 
There's no guarantee that one relationship will last till the end and you will be marrying the person you have been for years. Instead after two of you getting through more, experience and grow together. And  making both of your love stronger and invulnerable. 

But when ever things go wrong, please recall back, what make both of you get together? Curiosity or Love? What's the story behind? And things that boy of you have been through? What's the belief that both of you have been struggled and insisted for so long? Do you really want things to end this way? 

People who is in love afraid of losing, yet people who is single afraid of loneliness. 
Instead of worrying all the time, why don't just enjoy and cherish every moment you two spend together? Follow the flow and behold on trust. Let the time prove if both of you are meant to be. 
If things don't work out, suck it up, it's a lesson! Then you will be more aware of our own choice for the next relationship. 

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